Conversation for the College Send-Off

Your high school seniors have just celebrated their graduation and are packing for college. They can taste freedom, it is right around the corner. But what parting words of advice do they need from you as you launch them into this next phase? What do they need to hear and how should you navigate this potentially awkward conversation?

Let’s face it. College is an exciting time but new-found freedom carries with it potential temptations and pitfalls, even for teens who have made good choices throughout high school. As your role shifts to support and guide, what words can point them toward a path of life?

We have two kids back to back. We sent our first college freshman off to school last year and have just graduated another senior from high school. We believe a frank conversation holds value for all students even if your student’s current lifestyle makes some of the following seems ridiculous and unnecessary.

Your Guide to the College Send-Off Conversation:

Words you can adapt and use for your discussion.

A Caveat to Start the Conversation

Begin the conversation addressing the fact that this discussion may feel awkward because at times it doesn’t seem to apply. That’s OK. Start by saying you assume your student will make good choices but still feel the responsibility to relay the whole message on your heart.

Make Strategic Connections

With Christ-followers.

When you get to school, find the people who are living out their faith in Christ. The friendships will help you nurture and grow your faith.

When I was a freshman in college, my friend Suzanne, was one such friend. I was having trouble waking up each morning to spend time in Scripture before I went to class. Suzanne and I met in the parlors in our dorm to individually do our Bible study before class. That accountability was vital for me and my prayer is that you will seek out friends who will encourage you to live out your faith as well.

With a Campus Ministry

Campus ministries are one place to find and cultivate friendships with those who are pursuing a relationship with God. They also provide opportunities to grow in leadership.

During my freshman year in college, I went on the leadership retreat with Fellowship of Christian Athletes since I lived too far away from home to leave for the long weekend. Through that experience, I met the student leaders and was invited to fill in a role for an upperclassman leaving for foreign study. I was quickly grafted into the community of leaders and grew some skills myself.

With a Mentor

Often campus ministries have staff members whose job is to disciple college students. If your campus provides this, get involved! As a life coach, I charge clients a fee to get unstuck in an area or move their story forward. No other time will students have an opportunity to get in-depth mentoring like this, so take advantage of it!

A Local Church

Even if you are attending a Christian school, get involved in a local church. It may be tempting to just go to chapel and sleep in on Sunday, but the local body of believers is a place to gather and worship in a multigenerational setting. Your life is enriched by families and retirees, and these relationships provide perspective outside of the college-aged mindset.

Deliver Several Cautions

Here is where the conversation can get awkward if your child is not currently engaging in dangerous behavior. Your student is likely to protest “But Mom, I would never do that!” But I put it like this.

“We know the plane isn’t going to crash but the flight attendant still tells you how to put on the oxygen mask and find your floatation device. I will do the same.”

Drinking

When you drink too much inhibitions are reduced and you are more susceptible to the behavior you would not typically choose such as smoking, vaping, or drugs. Be careful.

Remember 1 Corinthians 10:13. God will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you can bear. He always provides a way for you to resist temptation.

Honor God with Your Body (1 Corinthians 6:12-20)

Fire is warm and cozy if it is in the fireplace but not if it burns the house down. When it comes to sex, be careful to keep the sparks in the fireplace. Save this amazing gift for marriage.

Back in the day, my mom cautioned me not to lie down with a guy. Sparks can jump out of the fireplace too quickly. These days, hooking up is common on the college campus and sexting is a part of dating for many Gen Zers. Walk away. Don’t take part. Don’t let someone pressure you to give them what is not theirs to take. You are worth the wait.

Your body is God’s dwelling place. When two people have sex, they become one flesh (Gen 2:24). It is a beautiful experience meant for the safety of marriage.  The marriage relationship also provides a beautiful illustration of the union of Christ with his bride, the church (Eph 5:32). You were bought with a price, the blood of Christ. Therefore, honor God with your body. (1 Corinthians 6:20)

Conclusion

As our students move out of the home to college, our role shifts to one more of support, advice, encouragement, and guidance. Keep the doors of conversation open with them, and keep praying. Here is what I pray:

• • That they would keep loving Jesus
  • That any darkness would be quickly brought to light
  • That God will remove any dangerous people from their path or remove them from a dangerous course.
  • That God will protect them from making a choice that carries a life-altering consequence.

To my children, I send them off, entrusting them to God’s care and I tell them of all the skills they could pursue or dreams they could achieve, just one will bring me the greatest satisfaction. “I will have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in truth.” (3 John 1:4)